I met Jesus in Cornwall, where he was taking a short break.
I cannot confirm the veracity of the story of Jesus, but from what I heard, Jesus has had quite a life. He has acted in several movies—one with John Malkovich, I have been told—and graced a few TV shows. This was all in his youth of course, when he lived in London.
His disciple—I will call him Peter—said he first saw Jesus in a nightclub in King’s Cross 15 years ago. When directors stop calling, it is natural for stars to eclipse to darker venues, I suppose.Jesus was a big hit at the nightclub, where fans would try to pet him, get pecked, and jump back, crying “Jesus!”—which Jesus happily repeated.
And thus was Jesus christened Jesus.
“The nightclub manager did not want to part with Jesus,” Peter said. “But I made him a ridiculous offer—I paid a lot for Jesus.”
Jesus is retired now. But for his fans, when the time is right, he is willing to return.